Have you ever told someone—or been told yourself—“You’re too emotional”?
Growing up, I was always a very emotional kid. People used to call me llorona, which in Spanish means “crybaby.” And honestly, I still am. But I’ve never seen myself that way. I see myself as someone who feels and expresses deeply—someone who embraces every emotion and has a body that reacts accordingly. I can’t change that; it’s simply who I am.
I’m writing this because I often find myself in situations where my emotional nature makes people… uncomfortable, to say the least.
We live in a world where showing emotion or sharing your feelings is often seen as wrong, weak, shameful, or overly personal. A world that tells us to be tough, detached, and cold—and celebrates that behavior. So when we’re faced with openness or vulnerability, we rarely know how to respond. Cue the awkward smile, the polite head nod, or the classic “Oh, I really have to go” excuse.
Over time, I’ve realized that this discomfort often comes from unfamiliarity. We don’t understand our emotions well enough to recognize them in others. Let me explain.
🌱 Understanding Emotions and Feelings
Before therapy, I used to categorize everything I felt into just three buckets: happy, sad, or angry. Everything I went through had to fit into one of these. But sometimes, a feeling was too big—so overwhelming that I couldn’t describe it.
Back then, I thought something was wrong with me. Now I know it wasn’t that I couldn’t describe it—it was that I didn’t have the vocabulary to.
So, what’s the difference between emotions and feelings?
According to Psychology Today, “Despite being used interchangeably, emotions and feelings are actually two different but connected phenomena. Emotions originate as sensations in the body, while feelings are influenced by our emotions but are generated from our mental thoughts.”
Here’s an example:
When your body tenses or your stomach tightens, pause and ask yourself: What are my emotions trying to tell me?
Then, name the feeling that matches that physical response. For example: Oh… I’m feeling scared, insecure, anxious—that’s why my body feels tense.
💫 What We Can Learn from Children
We see this all the time in kids. As adults, we often get annoyed when a toddler has a tantrum or throws things. We just want the behavior to stop. But we rarely stop to break it down with them.
Why are they angry? Is it frustration because they can’t put their shoes on? Is it jealousy because they’re not getting attention?
If we help children build a broader emotional vocabulary, we raise human beings who are better communicators—in relationships, in life, and with themselves.
🧠 A Little Invitation
Next time you’re feeling something big, pause. Notice your body’s reaction. Ask yourself: What exactly am I feeling right now?
Try moving beyond the basics—happy, sad, angry—and explore the full spectrum of emotions you experience every day.
Trust me, there’s more. Way more.
I hope the emotional wheel below helps you the way it’s helped me.
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